24.11.09

there's a plank in my eye

I tend to have moments (more often then I would really like to admit) when I complain/vent/whine/gossip (GASP!) about people that I interact with. The unfortunate thing is that nearly every time I complain/vent/whine/gossip about people, and the things they do, the real issue at hand is myself, not others.

The truth is, I'm a selfish individual. I prefer to think of myself first and foremost. Most of the time I'm more then willing to admit this fact about myself, although sometimes I hide behind false humility. Somehow in my mind I come up with a reason as to why I'm justified in what I'm saying about others and suddenly my complaining/venting/whining/gossiping doesn't seem so bad, but in all honesty, it is that bad!

I'm often convicted by the red letters in Bible (Jesus' words). Recently in reading Luke 6:42, I felt as if those words were written down years ago just for me:
"How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

Ouch. That stings a bit. Perhaps because its true. I do in fact have a plank in my eye. It's huge, and ultimately it all comes down to selfishness.

It's easy for me to try and disguise the plank in my eye, only the disguises I come up with only make it that much more obvious. I'm convinced that it's easy for me to identify how others are selfish since its such a huge issue in my life. The truth is, I struggle DAILY with being a hypocrite.

If admitting I have a problem is the first step, then I'm there. Now onto the next steps...

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